Conceived as an experiment in the resistance of an audience to the new and unusual, Coefficient of Friction was active from 1996-1998. The band was a creative collaboration of the Reverend Lord F. (Brandon Vaccaro), Heimlich Ignotius (Scott Scholz), and The Master KB.
Creative differences, a hot dog bun, and strange mating practices took its toll on the band and in the spring of 1998, the band played its final show at the Bug Theater, headlining the Neon Renaissance Festival.
Coefficient of Friction recorded one album, Teaser, for Mystery Cabal. It was the first Mystery Cabal release.
Releases
Coefficient of Friction – Teaser EP (MC10000)
©+℗ 1997, 2009 by Mystery Cabal (ASCAP).
All rights reserved.
Available on all streaming platforms. Choose your preferred platform to listen to the whole album.
Coefficient of Friction
Heimlich Ignotis (Scott Scholz)
Reverend Lord F. (Brandon Vaccaro)
Master KB (Kris Bennett)
Jon Powers (1998)
Brad Breek (1997)
Allen Burke (1997-8)
Marc Kajawara (1997)
Cody Brown (1997)
Mitch Bricker (1997)
Katy Cox (1996)
Lyrics
All lyrics by Heimlich Ignotis (Scott Scholz)
Green (Montane Du)
<This piece explores the synergetic innerconnectivity between contemporary scientific and anthropological issues in the specific. The young adolescent boy who drinks gallons of the neon liquid every week becomes convinced that the glandular-shrinking tendencies of the curious elixir are responsible for his pitiful track record with the fair sex. More interesting is the fact that more rumors continue to circulate concerning a darker occult history to these lyrics. Ignotis apparently came across some earlier unpublished writings of Adam Weishupt in which reference was made to a curious drink containing an Occidental “Moontan Du” root suspected to be a mild hallucinogen. Weishupt writes that a distant Masonic connection once contacted him in reference to the soma, warning him not to try it because, over an extended period of use, irreversible damage is done to male genitalia by way of shrinking glands. Weishupt himself never tried the drug, as it was too mild a psychedelic to arouse his curiosity. Nonetheless, this mysterious document seems to support the idea that the drug once was, and possibly still is.>
I feel compelled to speak aloud
The soda spilled and I am proud
A thousand cans still line the room
Incarnate carbonation doom
Always can in hand, I grew and grew
But Girls can’t see my weenus
For the Du
Montane Du!
The Teenage Girls can see my shame
My shrunken genitals to blame
I pace my room and sulk and cry
Montane Du lives; my manhood dies
Fancy Catsup
<No real story to report on this one; apparently we are to believe that Heimlich is at least sociologically interested in the ways of sadomasochism and the Left-Hand Path.>
I’m giving the best, I’m giving the best…my party
I’m setting the table; I’m buying the time
I want it to be, I want you to see the best in my decoration
I’m building a place to keep you inside
cover lover cover lover
I’m having a taste, I’m cleaning the space…my party
I’ll open the door; I’ll put a light outside
Accidents happen; I’m moving the breakables out of the way
You’re going to love where I want you to hide
cover lover cover lover cover lover cover lover
A showing of force; A twist of the fork
Caressing as far as I can bleed
A fighting discourse; a pop of the cork
There has to be a way
Stay or leave
I’m making the grade; I’m dimming the lights out behind you
I want you to feel I’ll meet all your needs
I’m putting my hands all over the flesh that restrains you
Would you pretend to say grace to me?
I’m breaking your tendons I’m making my party
I can taste the way you’d have to want for me to be
Melt onto the floor washing ashore
Could we pass the last living boundary?
Women with Disabilities
<Creepy. Simply Creepy. Self-Explanatory.>
I broke my arm
In the governor’s lap
He is refusing
To tell the tale
I broke my heart
When he tried to deny me
All the rights I’ve earned
All the rights I feel
Taking my stand/stealing in/out on a limb with me
Confessing to lie on my supposed liability
No need to cry
We have the leverage
I’m bearing down
We all will rise
The healthy watching
The tricky mating
The children crawling
That will never walk
Not Pepper, but Cat
<The story from Heimlich on this one is that the lyrics are the story of one inflatable goat trying to attract another inflatable goat. You be the judge.>
Dog Cat
Log Fat
Goat Cow
Come to me, Baby! Now
Not Pepper but Cat
Not chicken but dog
Not lion but penjero
she grows inside me now
I brush my teeth
My straightened collar Brushed and starched for weeks
I will attract you No matter what it takes
Come to me baby! I lay awake…waiting….waiting…Waiting!
Romancing I buy you jewels
I take you dancing I break all the rules
I cook you good food I buy you vintage wine
I will inflate you, baby! My godhead make you mine
My soul is black
<We are told that the lyrics to this were pirated out of a really old Axcess magazine back issue, but who knows…it’s the ultimate slam to the creature known as the Brooding Coffee Shop Poet.>
My soul is Black
My soul is Black, motherfucker–Black!
My soul is Black
And also I hate my mother
Stupid Art Student
<It’s just a novelty song simultaneously mocking and catering to gen-x liberal arts students the world over. But who knows…>
I go to art school
My parents pay for everything; I have a real good time
I have a girlfriend
We usually get along unless she steals my purple bong and then I get really mad at her.
We’ll have a real big fight, but then it’s usually fine by night and then it’s bedtime.
Thank god for hormones
But you’re my stupid art student
yeah. woo-hoo-hoo-hoooooo—ooo!
I skip my classes
There’s no such thing as education early in the morning
Scrape some cash together
There’s a rave I’m hitting Friday and it’s just no fun with porn
I’m skipping ecstacy….that’s trippin ecstacy
My spinal fluid’s boiling as my hair begins to whirl
I’m calling home this weekend
The bummer is my cashflow if I’m gonna keep this girl
Maybe I’ll try something I’ve never tried
Resting my head on her knees
And wouldn’t you know
And wouldn’t you know
And wouldn’t you know
Take me here
I smuggle cocaine
Over international borders all to supplement the way
My life is going
At this rate I may graduate before my hair turns gray
I’m on probation
When I go home for Christmas, there’s a tracker on my neck
I may just stay here this summer
The life I lead here’s right for me; I just may win it yet.
—but you’re my favorite art student.
Amoebum Subversivia
<This seems to be some weird sort of comment on inner city violence done in the style of inner city R & B, but who can be sure?>
c’mon baby
you know the time
I feel fine
you know the rhyme
feelin’ light and dreamy and so serene on a good September day
take a walk, cop a feel you know what it means
4 o’clock, we pass you house; old man on the porch say don’t you touch her
caved his face in, hands in gloves; I’m clean
Afternoon but the sun goes down we’re free we’re goin the other way
take a walk, cop a feel you know what it means
8th avenue late night bar we can crash all night alone together
baby dreamin some dreams you’re in my dreams
Feel the bourbon pulling you under; time to discover motivations
sit and stay, cop a feel, you know what it means
do you see the desperate situation I’ll subject you to with no regrets, no silhouettes, no
time to think, another drink
feelin light and dreamy, so serene on a brisk September evening
carry you back to my place you know what it means
you cop a feel and another and time to realize the contract
caved her face in, hands in gloves; I’m clean
Tasting
<This seems to be thematically related to Green based upon the decidedly weird neurosis of the subjects of both works, but who’s to say?>
There’s a velvet beggar hippie swimming in my room to beg
And his velvety aroma wraps itself around my leg
I will die without tasting alcohol and sex
Or alcohol and sex
Or anything sexy alcoholic
There’s no stopping me from going to that place where I belong
With the velvet beggar hippie on my ankles reggae song
That’s a velvet beggar hippie swimming in my room to beg
And his velvety aroma wraps itself around my leg.